Meetings of the Mind

At True Archives, we never tire of exposing the knavery of the Biblioposers and the global threat of the Information Scientists. However, in the spirit of good fellowship (and as an example to our wretched national political dialogue) we feel it is time to point out at least one positive thing about the rise of the internet that we heartily admire. There is an application of internet use that has the potential to liberate mankind from that most dreaded organizational torture: the group meeting.

Certainly anyone who works in academia or in business management knows the crippling boredom that must be endured during meetings. The endless discussions, the collegial posturing, the ignored agendas, and the lame excuses of those who "have to leave early" are all part and parcel of the meeting ritual. One only need look around the room to calculate the combined wages of the participants in order to estimate the expense of an hour at such depressing droning drivel.

There is, however, relief to be had in the skillful use of the tools of Information Science. Behold the meeting attendees who bring their Eyepads, Eyephones, and Eyelaptops! They have discovered a way to relieve the boredom of the meeting while appearing to “multitask” as they flip through email, shop on Amazon, or simply play a few rounds of Angry Birds. As much as one might wish to decry such surreptitious skirting of senseless sophistry, the sheer brilliance of using these electronic toys to “goof off” must be admired. But don’t you dare attempt it without such an electronic gizmo. Imagine your reception at the same meeting were you to pull out the day’s edition of the New York Times and begin working the crossword puzzle. There is no denying that print is discriminated against when it comes to digital dalliance at daily debriefings.

Of course we have not even touched upon the main advantage of using Information Science to avoid the relentless meetings of the minds in the workplace. At least ninety percent of these time-wasting tête-à-têtes could be eliminated with a simple exchange of emails. But that would require close reading, wouldn’t it? Recognizing that requirement is a sad admission that the one truly beneficial application of internet innovation will never be used to its full potential by the Twitter generation.

We would write more on this topic, but we are late for a meeting...